It's 1am and im just a little crampyyyyy , i feel like shit, headache , my **** hurts and geesh why cant i just get pg !!
I am so upset over not being pg, I am crying inside and it hurts alot ! Every time i think of WHY and why not me i get more fustrated , it's been along road , i personally dunno how much more i can take of this TTC stuff. I mean month after month, Dr visit after Dr visit .... it's getting old faster than what i thought .... Dh is no help tonight, he just dont get it ... Im the one who'sbroken so it's like all my faught , he's never said that but i feeel that way ! I want so bad to be pg, im trying so hard and doing all the GOOD things in life for my body ...... the ? is when is it going to happen ... Im not getting any younger 36 and Dh is 41 ..... My lord we are going to be a older couple raising a teenager ... Im not scared i want this ... it's just WHEN !!!!! I pray alot .... to myself , i thank god for what i have and its so much !!! I am blessed to have the fmaily i do , my wonderful husband ,,,, and LOVE !!! I really am blessed...........................But geesh i would love a child with my husband ....................... Maybe it' will never happen , when do we say enough with the treatment .... ???? I asked Dh that ? he seemed to no thave any answer !!!! GO figure .....
Well it's 2 am and im just up ... i dont feel good and just feel like writing .... But im off to bed !
Have laundry to do tomorrow and i think i will put my water fountain out front tomorrow .... Dh was suppose to do that for me this weekend , but he got to busy with all the other stuff .... we just moved in adn he's had alot to do!!!!
SO ....................... IM calling the RE's office tomorrow and getting a Cd 3 scan for Sept5 .... HOPEFULLY NO CYST !!!!!! We will see .............................. GOODNIGHT all my little fertility friends .... and angels and who ever reads this blog of my ramblings !!
( ps if there 's anything typed wrong sorry , in the dark in this early am session of the BLOG )
NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!until tomorrrow !!!!!!!!
BABY DUST TO ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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